12 Emotional Regulation Skills Kids Can Learn This Year
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Helping children build emotional regulation skills is one of the most impactful things parents can do for their long-term mental and relational health. Kids aren't born knowing how to calm down, identify feelings, or tolerate frustration- these skills are learned over time with support, modeling, and practice.
As play therapists, we see every day that emotional regulation is the foundation for healthy behavior, friendships, learning, and confidence. Here are 12 emotional regulation skills your child can begin practicing this year-no matter their age or developmental stage.
1. Identifying Feelings in the Body
Children learn emotions first through sensation before they learn language.
Teach them to notice:
- Tight chest → "Maybe I'm feeling worried."
- Hot face → "Maybe I'm feeling mad."
- Heavy body → "Maybe I'm safe or tired."
This body-first awareness builds confidence and reduces meltdowns.
2. Naming Emotions Accurately
You can use:
- Feeling charts
- Books
- Play-based conversations
- Emotions cards during bedtime
Naming emotions reduces intensity and provides clarity.
3. Using a Calm-Down Space
A cozy calm-down corner teaches self-regulation - not punishment.
Include:
- Pillows or blankets
- Sensory toys
- Books
- Fidgets
- Scripture cards
- A soft light
The goal: "When I feel big emotions, I have a safe place to go."
4. Deep Breathing Techniques
Children especially benefit from visual breath prompts:
- Flower & candle breathing
- Box breathing
- Belly breathing with a stuffed animal
- "Blow out the birthday candles"
5. Pausing Before Reacting
A simple script to practice:
- Stop
- Notice
- Choose
This can become a powerful lifelong habit.
6. Asking for Help or Comfort
Many kids don't know how to ask-even when they need it.
Teach phrases like:
- "Can you sit with me?"
- "Can I have a hug?"
- "I need help calming down."
7. Problem-Solving Skills
Teach them to brainstorm options:
- What's the problem?
- What is my goal?
- What are 2-3 solutions?
- What happens if I choose each one?
This reduces frustration and promotes independence.
8. Using Sensory Tools
Kids regulate through their senses far more than adults.
Great options include:
- Weighted items
- Chewelry
- Kinetic sand
- Essential oil rollers
- Noise-canceling headphones
9. Expressing Needs With Words
"Big behavior is communication."
Teaching kids how to express their needs reduces tantrums.
Examples:
- "I'm overwhelmed."
- "I need a break."
- "This is too loud."
10. Tolerating Discomfort
A key skill for emotional maturity.
This includes:
- Waiting
- Not getting their way
- Losing
- Feeling bored
- Handling transitions
Gentle exposure + support = growth.
11. Resettling the Nervous System
Techniques include:
- Movement
- Drinking water
- Weighted blanket time
- Jumping
- Slow rocking
- Cross-body tapping
These strategies help the "upstairs brain" come back online.
12. Practicing Repair After Conflict
Teach simple scripts like:
- "I'm sorry I __."
- "Next time, I will __."
- "Can we try again?"
Repair builds secure attachment and emotional intelligence.
When to Seek Extra Support
If your child consistently:
- Melts down over small changes
- Seems anxious, aggressive, or sad
- Struggles to express feelings
- Has difficulty calming down
- Avoids certain environments or tasks
They may benefit from Play Therapy, EMDR, or somatic-based therapy.
Illuminate Play Therapy & Counseling specializes in helping kids strengthen these skills in a nurturing, relational, and developmentally supportive way.
✨If your child could use emotional support this year, we'd be honored to help. Text 970.316.5009 to start a conversation.
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